Skip to main content

USA | What it's like to be on death row as federal executions resume

Death house, USP Terre haute, Indiana
This article was originally published by The Marshall Project, a nonprofit news organization covering the U.S. criminal justice system. Sign up for their newsletter, or follow The Marshall Project on Facebook or Twitter.

My name is Billie J. Allen, and I'm one of the men on federal death row at Terre Haute in Indiana. I have been here for over 23 years. For the past 17, there have been no federal executions.

Until now.

I am writing this on Saturday, July 11, two days before the scheduled execution of Daniel Lewis Lee. Last night, a federal judge postponed the killing because family members of the victims who wanted to witness it argued that it would be unsafe for them to travel to Terre Haute amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. As of this writing, it is unclear whether or not Lee will be put to death on Monday.

[Editor’s note: Lee’s case reached the Supreme Court, which cleared the way for his execution on Tuesday, July 14. A coroner pronounced him dead that morning. Another prisoner, Wesley Purkey, was executed Thursday, July 16. Prisoner Dustin Honken was put to death on Friday, July 17. Prisoner Keith Nelson’s execution is set to take place on Aug. 28.]

I had just returned to my cell from a hospital stay when I first learned that Lee, and three others — Wesley Purkey, Dustin Honken, and Keith Nelson — had been given execution dates. It didn’t really set in at the time, seeing as I had just gotten out of the hospital and needed to rest.

It comes out of nowhere when they take you out of your cell on death row and move you to the “death watch range.” You get no warning, nothing. They just show up at your door and tell you to cuff up. They meet your questions about where you are going with silence, but that silence says it all. It means you will be taken to the warden who will read you your death warrant. Then they will send you to an area designated for those with an execution date. You will no longer have any contact with prisoners who don’t yet have a date.

For a short moment after they move someone, talk about who might be next fills the air. People postulate why they think it won’t be them, but there is no certainty in their words. Because you never know. You can only hope.

It’s as if they want to block any possibility of distracting us from the question at the front of all of our minds — the question of who’s next.

As I write this, the mood here is hard to describe. Most people are keeping their thoughts to themselves. But the silence of the men around me communicates a fear that so many of us on federal death row share: If these executions go through, who will be next?

I can feel that things are going to come to a halt. They are going to lock us down and have us on "no-move" status until after these scheduled executions. That means no emails for any of us and possibly no access to the phones. It’s as if they want to block any possibility of distracting us from the question at the front of all of our minds — the question of who’s next.

I try to push those thoughts away and focus on my fight to prove my innocence. Yet multiple cases show that even those who are innocent can be victims of the system. And as much as I hope that won’t be my fate — and as hard as I work to reveal the evidence in my case — I can’t lie. The thought of being next does stay on my mind.

But still, I continue on my journey.

I am not new to federal executions. I experienced all three that have occurred at this prison since the resumption of the death penalty in 1976. Timothy McVeigh and Juan Garza were executed in 2001 and Louis Jones in 2003. I knew them all well — I had talked to them and spent time with them. I was awake in the middle of the night before their executions when the guards came to get each of them. I saw their faces and witnessed them walking out of their cells, never to return.

You try not to hold onto those memories in here. You attempt to distance yourself emotionally, because you know that if things don’t go well, it can be you. But no matter how far in the past those executions are, and how hard I try to detach myself, they still live within me. I’m forever plagued by the uncertainty of my own future — and the oxymoron of a federal government that is supposedly pro-life executing its citizens.

The Terre Haute prison did not respond to a request for comment.


Source: mic.com, Billie J. Allen, July 27, 2020. Billie J. Allen is a visual artist, writer, and poet. He is on death row for armed robbery and murder. Allen could not be contacted for comment about Lee’s or Purkey’s executions.


⚑ | Report an error, an omission, a typo; suggest a story or a new angle to an existing story; submit a piece, a comment; recommend a resource; contact the webmaster, contact us: deathpenaltynews@gmail.com.


Opposed to Capital Punishment? Help us keep this blog up and running! DONATE!



"One is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed,
but by the punishments that the good have inflicted." -- Oscar Wilde

Most viewed (Last 7 days)

South Korea ferry disaster: Surviving passengers of Sewol tragedy give evidence in court

Surviving passengers of a South Korean ferry which sunk in April, killing 304 people, are due to give evidence in the trial of its captain and 14 crew members. Students from the Danwon High School in Ansan, 18 miles south of Seoul, will testify with other passengers in a smaller court nearer to their home, rather than the one where the defendants are being seen in Gwangju, in the south of the country. The Sewol ferry set sail on 16 April with 476 passengers and crew on board - more than 300 of which were schoolchildren. They were enroute from the mainland to the island resort of Jeju as part of a school trip, when nearing the end of the journey, the vessel, which was overloaded, also made a sharp turn to the right causing it to capsize. Captain Lee Joon-seok, 68, was caught on rescue footage being one of the first to leave the ship, while many passengers, obeying orders, remained in the cabins. It is thought a delayed evacuation order from the captain did n...

Tennessee | Questions Raised About the Doctor Who Was Overseeing Tony Caruthers’ Execution

Mark Fowler, according to a deposition, had not placed a central line in a patient for more than a decade when he attempted to put one in Carruthers Around 11 a.m. Thursday morning in the execution chamber at Riverbend Maximum Security Institution in Nashville, a medical doctor stepped in and attempted to place a central IV line in Tony Carruthers’ chest. By that point, the prison staff had spent some 30 minutes trying unsuccessfully to insert a backup IV line that would allow them to proceed with the lethal injection. According to Carruthers’ attorney Maria DeLiberato, who was in the room, after asking a staff member to attempt inserting a line through Carruthers’ jugular vein, the doctor moved on to the central line, which is identified as the last resort in Tennessee’s lethal injection protocol .

Florida: The Daily Routine of Death Row Inmates

The breakfast carts rattle through the concrete prison at about 5:30 am and as they approach Death Row the first sounds of morning repeat the last sounds of night - remote controlled locks clanging open and clunking closed, electric gates whirring, heavy metal doors crashing shut, voices wailing, klaxons blaring. A maximum security prison has no soft or delicate sounds. At the end of each corridor of death row cells a guard opens a heavy door of steel bars and a prison trusty pushes a breakfast cart inside. The door closes behind him and when it locks a second door opens and admits the trusty to the wing. He steers his cart along the wing stopping at each cell to pass a tray of powdered eggs and lukewarm grits through a small slot on the bars. Food is prepared by prison staff and transported in insulated carts to the cells. The food carts are full of cockroaches, the food is often undercooked or just rotten and is served on Styrofoam plates with a plastic "spork" - fork/spoon...

Arizona executes Leroy McGill

Arizona executes inmate who set couple on fire in 'horrific attack' Arizona has executed Leroy McGill for setting 21-year-old Charles Perez and his 24-year-old girlfriend on fire. Perez died the next day and Perez survived with severe burn injuries.  Arizona has executed a death row inmate for setting 2 people on fire more than 20 years ago, killing 1 of them and changing the other's life forever.  The state executed Leroy McGill, 63, by lethal injection on Wednesday, May 20, for the 2002 murder of 21-year-old Charles Perez. McGill set Perez and his girlfriend on fire after they accused him of theft, court records say. Perez died of his injuries the next day while his girlfriend survived with severe burns. 

20 Minutes to Death: Witness to the Last Execution in France

The following document is a firsthand account of the final moments of Hamida Djandoubi, a convicted murderer executed by guillotine at Marseille’s Baumettes Prison on September 10, 1977. The record—dated September 9—was written by Monique Mabelly, a judge appointed by the state to witness the proceedings. Djandoubi’s execution would ultimately be the last carried out in France before capital punishment was abolished in 1981. At the time, President Valéry Giscard d'Estaing—who had publicly voiced his "deep aversion to the death penalty" prior to his election—rejected Djandoubi’s appeal for clemency. Choosing to let "justice take its course," the President allowed the execution to proceed, just as he had in two previous cases during his term:   Christian Ranucci , executed on July 28, 1976 and Jérôme Carrein , executed on June 23, 1977. Hamida Djandoubi , a Tunisian national, was sentenced to death for killing his former lover, Elisabeth Bousquet. He was execu...

EU GSP+ Reform: Will Brussels Finally Enforce Its Own Conditions on Pakistan?

The EU has tightened the rules governing GSP+ trade preferences, but Pakistan’s record raises a harder question: whether Brussels is prepared to suspend market access when a major beneficiary fails to demonstrate sustained compliance with human rights, labour and governance obligations. The European Union has formally adopted revised rules for its Generalised Scheme of Preferences, strengthening the conditions attached to preferential market access for developing countries. The new framework will apply from 1 January 2027 and is intended to tighten monitoring, widen the list of international conventions, and make suspension of benefits easier in cases of serious violations.

Tennessee fails to execute Tony Carruthers after IV difficulties. State won't try again for a year

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Tennessee officials on Thursday called off the lethal injection of Tony Carruthers, who was convicted of kidnapping and murdering three people in 1994, after his executioners tried and failed for over an hour to establish an intravenous line. Gov. Bill Lee announced soon afterward that the state would not try again for at least a year. In a written statement, the Tennessee Department of Corrections said medical personnel had quickly established a primary IV line but were unable to find a suitable vein for a backup line as required by the state’s execution protocol. Efforts to insert a central line also failed, and officials called off the execution.

Former Oklahoma death row inmate Richard Glossip goes free on $500k bond

Richard Glossip was released from jail Thursday, May 14, on a $500,000 bond, a major victory for the former death row inmate who has come so close to execution that he has had three last meals. Glossip, 63, is awaiting his third trial in his 1997 murder-for-hire case. He walked out the front door of the Oklahoma County jail, holding hands with his wife, Lea Glossip, as a stiff Oklahoma breeze whipped his hair. "I'm just thankful for my wife and my attorneys," he told reporters. "I'm just happy." His release came hours after Oklahoma County District Judge Natalie Mai set bail in a 13-page order that pointed to issues with the key witness against him.

New Mississippi billboard warns criminals: ‘Firing squad is legal’

DESOTO COUNTY, Miss. (WREG) — A billboard standing on Interstate 55 southbound as you cross the Tennessee state line and enter Mississippi from Memphis is sending a grim message to those coming into the state. DeSoto County District Attorney Matthew Barton recently announced the new billboard campaign, which features the sign reading, “WELCOME TO MISSISSIPPI. WHERE THE FIRING SQUAD IS LEGAL. THINK TWICE.” It references Mississippi’s law permitting execution by firing squad under certain circumstances for inmates sentenced to death. Barton says this campaign is aimed at deterring violent crime and sends a direct message to criminals entering Mississippi.

Florida executes Richard Knight

Man convicted of killing a woman and her 4-year-old daughter is executed in Florida  A Florida man convicted of fatally stabbing his cousin’s girlfriend and the couple’s 4-year-old daughter was put to death Thursday evening, becoming the 7th person executed by the state this year.  Richard Knight, 47, was pronounced dead at 6:13 p.m. following a 3-drug injection at Florida State Prison near Starke. Knight was convicted of 2 counts of 1st-degree murder in the June 2002 killings of Odessia Stephens and her daughter, Hanessia Mullings.  The curtain of the death chamber went up promptly at the scheduled 6:00 p.m. execution time. Knight was already strapped down with his arms extended and an IV line in place.