I spent 16 years in solitary in South Carolina. This is what it did to me. | Opinion

South Carolinian Randy Poindexter writes about the effects 16 years of solitary confinement had on him ahead of South Carolina’s planned execution of Mikal Mahdi, who spent months in solitary as a young man.

For 16 years, I lived in a concrete cell. Twenty-three hours a day, every day, for more than 3,000 days, South Carolina kept me in solitary confinement. I was a young man before I was sent to solitary — angry, untreated and unwell. I made mistakes. But I wasn’t sentenced to madness. That’s what solitary did to me. My mental health worsened with each passing day. At first, paranoia and depression set in. Then, hallucinations and self-mutilation. I talked to people who weren’t there. I cut myself to feel something besides despair. I could do nothing as four of my friends and fellow prisoners took their own lives rather than endure another day of torturous isolation.

Solitary confinement nearly destroyed me. I live with its physical and mental scars every single day. Even now, 16 years after my release, I’m haunted by the memories of prolonged isolation. 

I stay home, take care of my family, go to counseling, and take my medication. I do everything I can to stay on track, but the damage is done. I entered prison with problems. I left it with deeper wounds than I ever imagined because of my experience in solitary confinement.

One is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

I was lucky enough to get out eventually and receive the psychiatric care that I desperately needed. But I needed it sooner. In prison, I was labeled as a behavioral problem — not a person with mental illness. My emotional and mental outbursts should have been treated with counseling, medication and care. Instead, I was punished and sent to rot in a hole. I still think about my friends who didn’t survive. That’s what solitary does. It breaks everyone in different ways. I can’t help but reflect on my experience, as the state of South Carolina is scheduled to execute Mikal Mahdi, whose life was also destroyed by solitary confinement, on Friday. I don’t know him, but I know the pain and isolation he endured. 

Between the ages of 14 and 17, Mikal spent over 1,800 hours in solitary confinement in Virginia — more than 75 days. At that young age, he was already severely depressed and experiencing suicidal thoughts. He needed care, not confinement. Instead, he was locked away, and like me, his problems only worsened.

Between the ages of 18 and 21, Mikal spent another 6,000 hours in solitary. Eight months of his life in complete isolation. Once, they the state of Virginia kept him there for 1,700 straight hours, two full months without seeing another human. The reasons for this torture were often trivial. Not standing up fast enough during count. Using strong language. An untucked shirt. At 21, Mikal was finally released from prison. But the anger, severe depression and mental illness that he entered prison with, worsened by solitary and never treated, only culminated in more tragedy. Just two months after his release, he committed two murders. The justice system, which had repeatedly failed Mikal as a teenager, sentenced him to death at just 21.

"I'll see you back in 30 days"

When I finally got out in 2009, a guard sneered, “I’ll see you back in 30 days.” I never went back, but his comment signals the sad truth about solitary confinement: It is torture and more often than not, those who endure this cruel punishment never fully recover. 

Mikal never got the chance. He never got the help he needed. Instead of treatment, he got punishment. Instead of compassion, he got a death sentence. This is sadly all too common. As of 2019, there were 122,000 men, women and children in solitary confinement in U.S. prisons and jails every single day.

Still, important progress has been made. There is now broad agreement that solitary confinement, especially when used against children, must end. In 2016, under President Barack Obama, the Department of Justice recommended ending the use of solitary on children in federal custody. In 2018, President Donald Trump signed the First Step Act, placing stringent restrictions on the use of isolation on youth in the federal system. 

In South Carolina, in 2022, the prison system adopted new rules limiting the use of solitary in the juvenile justice system. While these reforms came far too late to help the teenage Mikal Mahdi, it’s not too late to recognize the devastating toll that thousands of hours in isolation took on the person he became. 

If the state of South Carolina executes Mikal without confronting the system that helped destroy him, we’re not just failing him. We’re dooming the next man too. 

Randy Poindexter spent 16 years in solitary confinement in South Carolina. He lives in Charleston.

Source: totheweb.com, Randy Poindexter, April 10, 2025

"One is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed,
but by the punishments that the good have inflicted."

— Oscar Wilde